Tairngir tellings

This year has left me contemplating the damage that a secret kept can wreck. As a counsellor I hear many things that distress a person and many that also distress me. In this dynamic there is a release valve in the form of supervision which I attend once a month. Also a client is not a person that is close to you and though you esteem them, their life circumstances do not infringe on yours. But what if a family member tells you a secret and swears you to secrecy? A secret that has played an injurious part for many years in a variety of ways. A secret that unbalances the picture you've held  about someone close, about yourself, about the past, and the present. A darkness that for the one dear to you has held onto alone through the tears and its seditious tentacles have subtly shaped so much of the experience of life and relationships with others. I felt over the months that the secret now known and held by me latched onto latent anxieties and fears and created yet more darkness in the fertile fields of my own mind. Through attending my own counselling and talking to trusted friends I have been able to untangle the mess that was created in my mind. Just being able to say the message of the anxieties out loud gives space to healing, and the other person listening accepting you and reminding you of the truth ushers in peace.

This landscape of peak and valley
townships and community
to be represented by this?
I cast no vote first time round
but now can't stop myself:
marking that box
posting the ballot
into that chest.
Adding weight to an empty shirt.
Keeping this borough a rotten one.

Electorate defrauded
Seductive propaganda spread
for that thief and swindler
for 'representation'
that doesn't represent... me,
any good or noble endeavour.

Next time I chance to cast
will I vote for the true?
for the good
that will last.

Lumbering along in the dark,
life drifts gently onto crown
and burden weary shoulder:
Small streams trickle down coat
and pools emerge
in valley folds of cloth.

Wooden, many-fingered towers
hold up the living ceiling
and a great ocean
collects at it's roots.
Fluid life bathed in unearthly glow drips into
and becomes one body;
Rippling the surface,
reaching shore incandescent,
pushing flotsam from the heart,
begging for a cleared tomorrow.

A whispering wind guides that life onto careworn, crinkled eyes
and beard-cloaked, cracking lips.
The same lips smile acknowledgement of the gift
And the whole person stands in the inspiring awe.

Like an earthly stubble:
the grass tickles my palms
as we lazily lay.
Joy
is my strange companion,
as the sun slips
behind the hill;
waving
a bye to the day.
A gentle breath
seduces the skin,
as in tree
a dove sounds
a mellow coo.
My restless mind
is awed into quiet,
as my mind's eye
turns longingly
upon you.
All those little lies
that whisper:
"unworthy"
turn to dust
before your passion stare.
The lazy lean
of a sapling tree
reminds me,
that all about
has little to worry
and needs not care.
Once forgotten summers
return:
in a single beat;
my heart athlete
as our favourites play along,
lazily leading.
Basking in fruit's glory
of furrows filled
with labours past.
A blast!
the earth gives up
it's bounty bleeding.
We walk in smiles
with Him,
who is all to us.
Redeeming our joy
from prisons dread.
Released
our heart's peace breathing,
as forgotten
love‐lorn paths
we silently tread.
In this moment:
at this time,
all is dream.
All else seems pretty pantomime.
Naked in every way:
my soul,
mind
and body.
Shoddy
the idea of limit to this time.
As the moon
silently silver,
a sliver of a smiling face,
winking takes it turn.
Sun dips
into landscape beyond
to bleach new skin,
sights and times to burn.