This year has left me contemplating the damage that a secret kept can wreck. As a counsellor I hear many things that distress a person and many that also distress me. In this dynamic there is a release valve in the form of supervision which I attend once a month. Also a client is not a person that is close to you and though you esteem them, their life circumstances do not infringe on yours. But what if a family member tells you a secret and swears you to secrecy? A secret that has played an injurious part for many years in a variety of ways. A secret that unbalances the picture you've held  about someone close, about yourself, about the past, and the present. A darkness that for the one dear to you has held onto alone through the tears and its seditious tentacles have subtly shaped so much of the experience of life and relationships with others. I felt over the months that the secret now known and held by me latched onto latent anxieties and fears and created yet more darkness in the fertile fields of my own mind. Through attending my own counselling and talking to trusted friends I have been able to untangle the mess that was created in my mind. Just being able to say the message of the anxieties out loud gives space to healing, and the other person listening accepting you and reminding you of the truth ushers in peace.