I have felt for a long time that the key to opening a lot of the spiritual doors in North Wales is for believers to live in true community (I know this is a term that is wrestled with a lot in this context I mean community that has Jesus firmly in the centre and His love to permeating all to the perimeter). I also believe that to truly move in this dynamic there needs to be commitment from all who are a part of this community to live and love in Jesus. I feel a real need for people to just spend more time together. I know this is something that does not come naturally to me and I struggle with on a regular basis. I also feel that we need to pray for each other and others more as a people of the flock, always looking to the good Shepard. This requires a real vulnerability and honesty that can on;y be achieved if people feel safe sharing their heart. Safe from condemnation, judgement and mere tolerance. Tolerance to me is an ugly word that is not rooted in love….I digress, sorry about that. I know that fear plays a big part in my inner and thus outer life and vice-versa so I need to know that it is safe for me to be me even as I am in my brokenness. I ask not for people to condone bad actions or bad motives but for people to be understood, loved and not judged according to short-comings. I need to not be merely tolerated but welcomed with open arms and hearts. I am not saying that this does not happen but I feel this in the spirit for myself and others so I know that there are some strong-holds that need to be conquered and lies that need challenging with truth. Most of all I know the deepest longing of my heart is to be loved pure and complicated and I believe it is the base need of everyone for is this not why we were created?

I have been reading a book about 24/7 prayer an idea that has a part of me closing my mind off as soon as I hear it (due to fears of being religious and self pious blah blah blah) but my spirit has been stirred in a way that I cannot deny and I believe that there is real Godly power in this activity. I have many more questions than I do answers as I am a natural question master but I know that answers only start coming when you start moving forward.

This is something that has been whirling around me for quite a while now and I struggle to do it justice by putting it into words but I’ve done my best.

Originally posted on http://tairngir.tumblr.com/page/82

March 4 2009