I’m crushed Lord if you wanted me completely undone life has accomplished to unravel my dreams,
Hope is like elusive prey that knows it is beyond reach,
The sun’s light poured into my exposed chest could not warm up the death in there,
My dreams and hopes are like fallen leaves on the forest floor,
See how they rot leaving my hands empty and my heart weak,
I do not feel like your David I have tried to do good but rejection has been my reward,
Every blessing I offer comes back as a curse and spits in my face,
The weak and the vulnerable have no one to protect them,
Who will stand up and speak out?
You once called me warrior and though I don’t run it matters not: my sword falls uselessly to the ground and my shield rusts from lack of care, my armour is like a lead weight on my soul,
I was always unsteady on my feet and am now flat on my back,

My eyes can do nothing but look up into the firmament,
And as I gaze into the pure beauty that is of Your creation I remember,
I remember Your goodness and unfailing love,
I remember Your promises that made my stone heart quiver all flesh like,
Your word flowed through every limb, Your every touch sent shivers down my spine, Your love permeated my entire being,
I walk in such darkness that these times are but a dim memory and a false hope that keeps me biting at the dust,

The leaf rot that is my spirit is redeemable,
Does not next years growth thrive on the decay of the past,
Cannot empty hands be filled to overflowing again,
Is not the Lord my heart and He never fails or tires,
Did not David spend years in the wilderness crying out for justice,
In exile he learned to become king and a warrior after the Fathers heart,
What goes around comes around they say so I await with expectancy my fill,
Though I cannot earn blessing as I walk sinning even as grace is the scenery around me,
God blesses out of His love for His helpless children,
God is angry and will strike down with great vengeance anyone who oppresses the weak and cheats the vulnerable,
But the blood of the lamb cries out the better cry of mercy over vengeance so even the tyrant can turn and receive,
I have hope not because I have all I need or want but because I lay bare before Father boldly asking in utter need and my Father is good, all the time He is good.